As I am writing this, my palms are still sweaty, my sweater is sticking to my back, and my face is bright red… but I did it! I completed the comfort challenge.
Have you ever wanted to switch spots in a Café? Sometimes there’s that one person hogging a big table, while you and your friends are trying to squeeze all your laptops and coffee together in a balancing act…that’s an opportunity to try this comfort challenge.
TODO is down below ⬇️
Why Do This?
Learn to be more comfortable with discomfort.
Whether it is negotiating, asking for what you want, saying no, or speaking truth, the degree to which you’re comfortable with discomfort can determine how successful you are.
Very often, your success in life can be measured in the number of uncomfortable conversations you’re willing to have and uncomfortable actions you’re willing to take.
Willing to be uncomfortable = more success
Inspiration from the 4 Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss, link for more below.
Storytime
We sat at a table that could only fit two computers, so small that when the coffee arrived we had to put our computers on our laps. We eyed a guy sitting at a 4-person large round table just a few meters away. He wasn’t even using his computer, just reading some papers. We had a friend arriving soon to work together and this tiny-table-situation wasn’t going to fly.
I sat there in conflict. I knew exactly what to say to him, but what if he said no? What if he thought I was a lunatic? What if it was rude? He looked kind but I was playing it up in my mind.
That’s when I realized, there’s two things that could happen if I asked – he could say yes, and we’d get the bigger table, or he could say no, and we’d be in the exact same situation we’re in now. So there’s no lost in asking, because worst case, we’ll be in the same state as we are now.
But still, I didn’t want to ask. I sat there for 10min, just staring into nothingness, too nervous to eat my croissant, too nervous to open my computer. But this was actually worse than asking – not asking would keep me in the agonizing state of not knowing what would happen if I asked. I was sweating already, anxious as hell, and yet I wouldn’t be able to relieve myself from this state until I asked.
Finally, I puckered up the courage, approached the guy and said:
Hi, do you speak English?
Yes
You can say no, but we were wondering if we could switch spots because we’re expecting another person and our table is a bit small
Oh, of course, that makes sense
Oh, thank goodness! I was so anxious about asking
*shows him my trembling hand, he laughs, and we switch spots*
TODO
- Next time you need to switch spots in a café (or anywhere), find someone who would be alright with your spot, keep your spot so they can go there, and approach them with a smile
- Use a phrasing similar to this:
- “You can say no”
- Say this first, it gives them a way out, and shows that you’re ok with it too
- It’s ok if they say no!
- “But we were wondering if we could switch spots because we’re expecting another person and our table is a bit small”
- Give a legitimate reason to switch that is logical and acceptable
- Not just “that’s a better view”, but it would work if “my friend from overseas is visiting me for the first time and I was wondering if we could switch spots so he/she can see the view of ___”
- “Oh, thank goodness!”
- Remember to thank them
- “I was so anxious about asking”
- Show them how nervous you are, it makes you more authentic and they feel better about you asking and switching with you
- It also makes you feel better, instead of penting it up inside, you just confess that damn, this was tough! They’ll also appreciate that you mustered up the courage to talk/ask them
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If you try this comfort challenge, please share your experience in the comments below! I’d love to read them. It’s always a hilarious and valuable exploration of getting more comfortable with discomfort.
For more Comfort Challenges, click the Comfort Challenges category or find some by Tim Ferriss
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